I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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