I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize