Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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