Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
