i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I am available for nakedness
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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