$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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