I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
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