I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
