New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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