She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
