I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
