So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
