mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
