oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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