Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
