It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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