she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize