she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
