There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
