I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
