A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
