Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
