you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
