They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Randomize
