the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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