I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
