wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
