Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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