we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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