Kiss
Puke
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
