so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
