He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
