a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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