I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
