people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
