i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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