Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
