you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
