I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
