i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
