sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
