Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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