if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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