i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
