Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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