it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
