My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
