from now on my penis is your penis
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
