i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
