i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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