If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
