plz talk dirty to me
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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