her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize