Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
In America we eat man semen.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
