I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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