Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
