No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
and she was petting her beer can
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
