I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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