Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
