i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
