You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
my liver is dry heaving
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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