why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
