It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
