You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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