You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize