i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
