first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize