Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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