Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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