I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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