Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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