His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
